behind the box.

captain's log; RE: my absence

2009-12-20T12:26:00.000-08:00

hello everyone who reads this. (which i don't imagine is that many people..)

i know i haven't done a comic in a month.

i could make up all the excuses i want, but that's not gonna really help. the truth is, i have been very busy with this new family business starting up, and my life is just a huge clusterfuck that i don't even want to deal with right now.

not to mention this horrible mental anguish i seem to be going through everyday these days.

i don't know. i'm hating life more than ever right now, and that just screams bad news.

i need to disappear from the world for a little bit; no blogs, no twitter, no msn. there will be no box. either until the new year at least.

happy holidays.

-rhee.

captain's log; RE: box. got reviewed!

2009-11-15T19:25:00.000-08:00

click here for the review!

this is by far the best thing i've ever experienced while working on box.

someone actually thought the comic was worthy of a review.

i know it's not really a big deal, in larger scheme of things, but it's definitely an accomplishment for me. =) check out the review and leave a comment maybe? or just read it and move on. i don't really care.

the next comic should be on thursday. =)

-rhee.

nine thumbs-up? what the hell is that?

The New Comic

2009-11-10T11:07:00.000-08:00

I'll start by thanking those of you who emailed rhee about the new comic. It's always encouraging to hear that someone really enjoyed something you've done. I think rhee had numerous emails telling him how his newest strip was their most favourite. So, thanks ;) I wrote it late one night and re-wrote it the next morning after a good rest, maybe I should do that more often. Hopefully we have the next one up on time, it's being written as we speak (well, I'm on break right now).

But with the calming of one shore starts the tsunami to another. My script that I am writing for school is suffering the effects of my inability to stick with a decision. I haven't touched it in days and it's because I've been thinking of ripping out ALL the flashbacks involved in the script. First, I read it over and it didn't seem as if the flashbacks were adding much to the film. Then I erased all the flashbacks and read it again. Other than a few spots where the continuity doesn't match up (which is a nice thing to notice), the script seemed to flow a lot better and I only have to deal with two storylines instead of four. I always hate cutting scenes, I have to get over that and understand that cutting things can actually add to the script.

Ever since I've stopped smoking weed, less people come over. I'm not saying there's a correlation, because maybe time is just passing slower now. Tick.... tock.

Kind of like that.

captain's log; RE: NaNoWriMo, FFXI, box.

2009-11-03T18:01:00.000-08:00

wow. simox. actually posted.

as i looked at the main page of the blog, i realized that i have yet to make a post in november. so here it goes.

today, i signed up for NaNoWriMo. for those who don't know what that is (i didn't know until just about fifteen minutes ago,) it's this thing where you write a fifty-thousand word novel over the course of november. i had never even heard of this before, but Neko with a Katana (of smackjeeves,) talked me into signing up.

i'm not a very good writer. as most of you know (if you are a box. reader,) the reason i went on hiatus the first time was because i couldn't write anything interesting for the comic. so going from, "not being able to write a comic" to "writing a fifty-thousand word novel,"... well, it's pretty scary to me.

i'll keep updating how my novel is going on the blog as i go. for those intrigued, you should sign up too. =)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i quit WoW recently. blizzard was starting to treat their customers like handicapped two year-olds, and personally, i don't like being treated like a handicapped two year-old. it was fun for a while, i met some cool people, etc. etc. but i left it all behind because none of those things held any real meaning in my life. it was "good-bye azeroth" for me.

i went through this "dry" period for two or three weeks, then something was triggered in my brain as i was driving home last week. i started thinking about FFXI, (aka Final Fantasy 11.) i was a launch player back in '02, but i never got very far. why i started thinking about it randomly, i don't know, but in the end (impulsively,) i ended up resubscribing for a month.

and like all games that is updated periodically, FFXI has changed quite a bit. it's still very difficult, but it's not impossible anymore. it looks very pretty, and aside from all of the minor issues, the game is still very very good. i pretty much left azeroth, only to land myself in vana'diel. i like vana'diel. i like it a lot. it earns big points for not treating me like a handicapped two year-old, (it actually feels like i'm being treated too much like a real man.) it earns big points for not being overrun with ten year-old kids who think they're hot shit.

if i had friends who played the game, that would make my experience complete.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

box. box. box. the halloween strip was pretty good right? we've been receiving a lot of good feedback on it, (thank you,) especially about the ending.

funny thing about the ending though, we came up with the ending literally ten minutes before it was drawn. that's how we roll. we give off the illusion of preparedness, and professionalis--*

wait, no we don't. never mind. either way, i'm very glad everyone enjoyed the belated halloween comic.

over the past couple days, i've been thinking about shirt designs. box. is still very young, and it has no catchphrases. so how does one make a good shirt without an eye-catching hook? hmm hmm hmm.

i believe simox. is writing the next book as i write this blog, so given that my tablet doesn't go limp on me, the strip will be up on thursday.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well that seems to be it for now. =)

-rhee.

when i write, i almost feel important.

The Silence of My Home

2009-11-03T14:43:00.000-08:00

It seems like forever since I've even clicked the bookmark to bring me to the blog homepage. Sure I helped with the new Halloween comic, and I'm working on the newest script, but in the end that seems like such a small portion of my time. I don't even blame WoW, because honestly I don't even log on that much anymore since I moved to the Horde.

I'm finding myself locked in my room, only coming out for something that I'm going to bring back to my room. And I'm running out of that, too. But I'm also running out of money. Weed will have to go, it's just that simple. It's the most expensive and unneeded thing in my life. This last bag will be enjoyed, and the rest that will not follow will be missed. *sigh*

So, about this switch to the Horde. The initial idea was that I wanted a well geared player on both the Alliance and the Horde. I'm constantly wanting something that I don't have. I'm simply trying to cure that. Sure it cost money and I took a risk of finding myself alone and regretting what I've done, but it pulled through for me and life is okay. And it's not goodbye. I'm still planning to raid with the Alliance. I sound whiny, I know. I guess I just need to talk these things out.

So I had a virtual office meeting with my creative writing teacher and it basically made me have to re think everything that I already have. How annoying is that? I should be used to it by now but I'm not. I'm a three draft kind of guy, any more than that and I don't even see it as the same thing it started out as. Writing is hard, there's no other way of saying it. Hard I can deal with, it's just the tedious part I can't stand. The nick knacks that patty whack the shit out of your business.

It's quiet here. Sometimes I feel like I haven't heard anything real for a long time. I pick up the guitar and sing a song that nobody but me seems to like just so I can break the silence of my home. And it's not like I'm trying to shut myself in, it's not like I'm closing off the world, I just seem to forget the reasons why I really need to leave my room, or what is really out there that I need? The list just grows thinner and thinner until I end up standing in the kitchen wondering why I'm really there.

I question my own direction, I really do. Because it seems like wherever I go there's just another wall. Which is confusing because I thought there were only supposed to be four.

captain's log; RE: me.

2009-10-27T22:04:00.000-07:00

i'm sean (or rhee.)

i'm azn.

i'm nineteen years old.

i'm a smoker.

i'm liked when i'm around, but easily forgotten.

my favourite shows are The Simpsons and LOST.

my favourite food is spaghetti.

my favourite bands are Van Halen and blink-182.

my favourite beverage is ginger ale.

my favourite movie is Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.

i used to be into videogames, but now i'm not.

i used to be motivated to succeed in life, but now i'm not.

i used to be happy, but now i'm not.

i used to care about things, but now i don't.

i used to be an insomniac, that hasn't changed.

i'm sean (or rhee.)

i'm azn.

i'm nineteen years old.

i'm a smoker.

i'm liked when i'm around, but easily forgotten.

i'm a nobody.

-rhee.

who am i?

captain's log; RE: DFO

2009-10-27T14:06:00.000-07:00

when you're bored, and have been bored for the past few hours.. what do you do?

you look for free games that intrigues you, and you give it a whirl.. (or at least i do anyway.)

today's find: Dungeon Fighters Online.

i saw an ad for this on some webpage (yeah, i actually clicked one of those ads, that's right,) and the screenshots and etc. on the ad seemed pretty decent. i clicked, and off it took me to the Nexon website. now i don't know about anyone else, but Nexon is cool in my books. they're a korean company, and they've made some pretty cool games in the past. prime example for north americans?: Maple Story.

anyway, DFO is a side-scroller beat-'em-up. now that sounds pretty great to me. there have been countless great games of the genre such as Final Fight, Dungeons & Dragons: Tower of Doom.. etc. etc. and those games have never failed me. never.

so i download this game, and install it, (which took forever for some reason,) and i was on my way to play DFO. the intro sequence is cool, you have some classes to choose from, it looks pretty good, and it's not too busy cuz it's a free MMO (obviously.)

i would say that DFO is a pretty good game... had the combat been programmed a little better.

the combat is very very frustrating. like, unbelievably. one swing of the weapon (which is triggered by the X key,) take about a second, and combos are pretty easy to build.. if you can hit something. i found myself swinging away at the monster (which appeared to be right in front of me,) but not doing anything, cuz i was like two pixels off on depth! like come on now. it doesn't help that the monsters are constantly on the move, so your one second swing has about ninety-five percent chance of failure. that is not fair, especially when they give you a ranking at the end of a dungeon for how well you fought; and yes, how often you hit/miss is taken into consideration. every combat, i've ended up with F or E ranking, which lick balls.

it's a surprise to me that the combat system sucks so badly, when the combat system was what pulled me into the game in the first place. they definitely made it seem a lot cooler in those screenshots and gameplay videos.

for about fifteen minutes of fun, DFO is great.

playing this game long-term? i can't imagine anyone zen enough to pull that off.

-rhee.

it's like rolling 1s all the time.

captain's log; RE: box., and my current life.

2009-10-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

hello everyone,

after my two horribly angry blog posts, i'd like to come back and visit a topic that this blog is all about.

box.

ah yes, box. it's been a while, and so soon after we made a comeback. it's not that i'm lazy, or haven't had time (because i am overflowing with too much free time,) but it's that my tablet is sick. i don't know if anyone has had this problem with a WACOM tablet, but my pen is acting more like a mouse than a pen, meaning that it takes a brief 500ms pause on contact, then starts drawing the line. it's almost as if it has to "click" before it draws. it's very strange, and frustrating (especially when i installed Windows 7, [which is awesome by the way,] hoping to fix the problem.)

anyway, it's been too long. and i've decided, if i don't get the tablet up and running in the next couple days, i will draw the comic on paper, scan, and upload.

second topic, which has nothing to do with what this site is all about: life as a failure.

my life is all sorts of madness right now. nothing is going extremely well, and most things seem to be going extremely wrong.

i'm currently enrolled in an online course offered by Berklee School of Music. the course is generally about how to get a good live sound as a sound operator, and it is something i have genuine interest in. at first, the course started off pretty well, but now, i'm losing my motivation (like i do with everything i've ever attempted in my life.) i paid lots of money for this, and it's all going to waste. fuck my life. half the things in the course, i can't even do, because apparently i need to have an epic sound system, and a job as a sound operator, cuz the assignments are telling me to go "record my next gig," or to "describe my previous experiences where i used effects and delay in a live show." uh yeah, there's only a few problems with that, in that i do not own a six-thousand dollar sound system/recording equipment, nor do i have a job as a sound operator at any location where i am able to "record my gig" or to have an experience i'm supposed to describe.

fuck my life. i'm going to fail this course, and twelve-hundred dollars are going to go to waste. fuck. my. life.

that's the problem with me as a person. i'm just "okay" at everything i do, i don't excel at anything. my "skill" is to be able to do a lot of things, but do those things with only mediocre skill. that really puts me in a difficult position, where i look at a list of possible courses i can take for school, and i go "wow, i actually suck at everything. if i took any of these courses, i'd fucking fail all of them." that really really fucking sucks. i want to go to school, i want to be able to say, "yeah i got a degree in *insert field here*" but i know if i invested money to attend school, i'd just fail everything and walk out with nothing.

fuck my life.

it's getting harder and harder to live through each day, without having a mental breakdown.

jeez, this reminds me of when i used to live in vancouver.

-rhee.

oh hallo psychiatrist, can you give me moar pills plz?

captain's log; Dear You-Know-Who.

2009-10-22T19:17:00.000-07:00

let's not go through this again.

you promised, and regardless of our current relationship, a promise is a promise.

don't you fucking lie to me again.

or i'm going to leave you forever, cuz there's nothing that you can say or do to justify your actions.

by the way, after a year, i've gotten pretty damn good at telling the difference between truth, and lies that come out of your mouth.

so don't even bother.

-rhee.

liar, liar, pants on fire.

captain's log; Dear Speeding Cop.

2009-10-20T23:39:00.000-07:00

yeah, i saw you.

don't even pretend like you didn't do it.

i fucking watched you.

i watched you drive down bowen rd. at eighty km/h easy. i was driving right behind you doing sixty-five. you just got further and further away from me, quite quickly might i add.

don't you have any feelings of responsibility? you're a police officer. you are a fucking police officer. you go around, pull people over and give them a hundred dollar ticket cuz they were driving fourteen clicks over the speed limit.

no sir. you deserve that ticket.

what's your explanation? i'd love to fucking hear that shit come out of your mouth. you don't have one, just like anyone you've ever pulled over. you are a sack of shit; and you, you think you have the right to pull people over and give them shit just because you drive around in a marked car with lights and sirens; just because you wear a badge and put on a kevlar vest under your blue clothes.

go fuck yourself.

how do you expect anyone to obey laws that you as a police officer on duty disregard completely? how do you expect to enforce it?

you think you're tough shit, but you're just human.

just like all of us.

you are scum.

-rhee.

fuck the police.

Hand it Over

2009-10-20T15:13:00.001-07:00

Hand it over
You're weary, lay him down
You did your time, so thank you very much...

The Decemberists clearly have some sense of reason that I've not yet come to discover. I wonder what it's like to think up lyrics like those, it must be such a relief to be able to express yourself so clearly and have it sound so fantastic. And I use the word "fantastic" in its literal sense, which is that of a fantasy. Because listening to them is a lot like being in some sort of fantasy.

So a good thing happened today. My research project came back. The project itself had me reviewing different literary magazines and then coming up with some ideas for the university's own literary magazine based on what I've seen so far. When she talked to the class about the mark, she said she came across "one really good writer in the class whose work was organized and well thought out" those last five words were identical to what she wrote on my project. So, and I know I'm assuming here, I must have been that guy! It's encouraging, is all. And it's my blog so I'm allowed to brag a little, right? Right?!

Anyway... life is okay. It doesn't really change, but it's still okay. I think this mostly has to do with the amount of time I spend alone and in my room. When you don't do anything, nothing really happens to you.

My WoW-friends are dropping like flies. Rhee was first, and now my brother is "burnt out" as he says. I, on the other hand, am still trucking along. I'm leveling my Priest now and this character will become my main when the new expansion comes out. Assuming the guild sticks together, I'm going to like the coming months of World of Warcraft. Even if they are pointlessly spent, even if I'm alone.

My friend's website went up today (www.loveandwartx.com). I was honored to be one of the first to load up the page, or at least I like to think I was one of the first. It's an amazing site. It sets you in a world where you can get happily lost in for a while. I once browsed around for close to an hour without knowing it. The most important thing I have to say about it is that it's unique. I've actually seen other sites like this one, but the difference in quality is unmatched. Lakmei, Amber; a toast to your work!

Rhee, myself and two friends did our first D&D session on Sunday last week. It was really fun because we were able to start an adventure. Even though we didn't really get far, it was fun and we had some good laughs. It's nice to be nerdy, extremely nerdy, once in a while.

box... I have no updates. Rhee?

I'm not complaining as often anymore. I've sort of learned to just keep it to myself, or at least put it on here. I laugh more, even by myself. I miss being safe. I miss the things I don't have and never did, isn't that weird? Most of all, though, I miss my friends. I wish there was some way, some device, that I can use and it would make things just be the way I want them to be, even for a while. I know this thing probably doesn't exist. But, if it does, if that person who happened to come across it is reading this blog, then please... hand it over.

With a New Font

2009-10-16T11:26:00.001-07:00

I can't tell the difference between some fonts, so I never really remember which one I used from the beginning. So I'm sticking to courier. Clean, reliable, and its the font that scripts are written in, which is just *super* awesome. Reading it off a printed page, though? That's the best part. So solid, purposeful.

Rhee, the co-author of this comic, I wish you the best. All I know about moving forward is that you need to start small, and do things. That's the most important part, to do things. I know it's kind of stupid to say, but watching that movie "Yes Man" really made me think. I started saying yes more. Yes, I will go to Jazz Night. Yes, I will be on the board of directors for the Nav, it all started this chain of events which led me to a somewhat better life. Going to school makes me feel like I'm at least headed somewhere. Go back to school, take some art classes, some math classes. Get a job as a music teacher. First thing is to go to school.

I'm going through a rough patch myself. I just spend so much time in my room, locked in there watching tv shows, playing WoW, or reading or writing. It's hard to really tell if it's good or bad because I'm still being productive. It's not like I'm just sitting around doing nothing. I better keep this study ongoing for further research.

I miss box. I've been trying, but I'm sorry to say that I have no updates on when this tablet fiasco is going to pass. When I ask he usually just says something along the lines "soon" and with an added cheery quip, like "hopefully" or "with any luck". I'll also be researching this further, as I am convinced that there is a conspiracy that Rhee has fallen victim to.

Warcraft news. I got a new sword last night. That is all.

Oh, and a penguin.

captain's log; RE: lack of sleep.

2009-10-16T06:04:00.000-07:00

it is currently sixAM.

i remember getting into bed around oneAM.. but i do not remember falling asleep until it was well around threeAM.

recently, especially in the past few days, i've had the worst time trying to fall asleep/maintain sleep. the lack of rest is causing me to be in a lot of pain all throughout the day, not to mention the irritable mood it puts me into, (perhaps that explains my horribly written emo ramblings?) but worst of all, it makes me not want to do anything.

i'm fucking tired.

the end.

-rhee.

where am i?

captain's log; RE: being stuck in life.

2009-10-15T19:15:00.000-07:00

do you ever have those days, or weeks, or months, or even years, where you feel like you're totally stuck in life? you feel like you haven't moved forward at all, and you're just stalling in one place.. just rotting away.

i feel like i've been stuck in life for about.. two years now. i look back on these two years, and i realize that i haven't accomplished anything in life. nothing at all. if someone was to come up to me and ask "what is your greatest recent accomplishment?" i'd probably have to say "surviving the past two years without going insane." not much of an "accomplishment."

after graduating high school, i've attempted university life twice (failing both times, miserably..) tried getting jobs, tried having a love life, tried writing songs... etc. etc.

i have nothing to show for any of my attempts at any of those things. nothing. i've failed at everything i've tried. i suck at life. i don't know how to live one properly, nor how to remotely take care of one. what a stupid waste of a miracle.

i'm stuck (i've already mentioned this several times.) i haven't moved a single step forward since i left high school.. and i hate it. i'm leading a pathetic excuse for a life. i'm a pathetic excuse for a human being.

so how do i move forward? how do i suck up my doubts, and take that daring first step? what do i do?

-rhee.

i could sure use that flying motorcycle now.

captain's log; RE: "mis-"

2009-10-12T18:40:00.000-07:00

hey, dude. sim0x. i thought we had a deal that we weren't going to change our fonts.

today, i want to talk about a couple words with the prefix "mis-" and how it relates to my current life.

i've made a lot of mistakes in the past. i'm sure we all have, we're all human (...right?) mistakes are inevitable in our lives, but i'm talking about the kind of mistakes where you honestly could've done something just a little different to turn that mistake into a fortunate event; letting someone go, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, or maybe just the simple mistake of not picking up your phone. when you realize, way down the road, that your infinitesimal actions caused an entire world to collapse infront of you, you have nothing but regrets. and that's what my life is filled with right now.. regrets. i've made a lot of mistakes in the past, and now i have to live with it. i passed up on golden opportunities that are long gone now, and when i think about all of the ways i could've possibly acted to take those opportunities.. it makes me want to scream.

i always thought of myself as a misunderstood person. not misunderstood like, "nobody understands me /wrists" but misunderstood in a way where my words just don't communicate what i really mean. i can't count how many times i've said something.. and people just instantly lose their patience with me, get super defensive, then angry. i... what? it makes my life very difficult. i often find myself having to say the same thing twice or more, but each time using completely different words and structure. what is it about my speech that makes people so angry? my parents keep telling me that i have an "aggressive" tone of voice.. me? i'm just speaking the way i have been speaking for years and years. what do i do? do i just take a vow of silence and never speak again?

hoorah for emo blog posts. it makes me feel like a fucking douchebag.

but i can't lie and say that i'm not miserable.

-rhee.

insert emo quote here.

List of Likes

2009-10-12T18:18:00.001-07:00

After having a nice talk with one of my friends, I went home thinking about things that I like. I made a list of them in my head. If I had anything close to a good memory, I would have posted them here. But you'll just have to make due with these.

In no particular order...

Air, Ratatat, Beirut, Sufjan Stevens

- I chose these four artists because I listen to them the most. All of them were introduced to me by a friend. Actually, two friends. They know who they are. If you haven't heard any songs from these artist, I suggest you do at some point. I have a very large playlist filled only with songs by these artists. I keep the volume low and just do my own thing. I go on WoW, read a book, write a blog, anything. The music is so refreshing. A few notables: "Night Sight" "Left Bank" by Air, "Loud Pipes" "Germany to Germany" by Ratatat, "Elephant Gun" (Sarah showed me this last night) "Postcards From Italy" by Beruit, "Jacksonville" "Year of the Dragon" Sufjan Stevens.

The writing of The Sopranos

- Does anyone still watch this show? That's probably a stupid question. Many people probably still watch The Sopranos long after that cut to black happened in the last seconds of that final episode. What I find amazing about the show is that any episode, any one of them, has phenominal writing. Watch an episode and see what I'm talking about. I watched "Cold Cuts" last night before I slept. The lines the characters say are sometimes so meaningful, I wonder if the writer meant for the lines to be so powerful or if he just wrote them and James Gandolfini did the rest. The structure, too, is something to talk about. Everything that happens in the episode is there for a specific reason. That's good writing, folks.

Futurama

- Ah, Futurama. The greatest science fiction cartoon to ever hit the screen. It's so nerdy that it makes me proud to understand the obscure, specific jokes that come up. But the characters are the real hook. Fry is the perfect embodiment of a 20th century guy. Granted, hardly any of us have mushrooms growing from our bathmats, but a lot of us still think the way he does, whether we admit it or not. A pretty girl asks for Fry to walk him home, Fry responds "Mmm, how far is it?" I would never do that, but I still might think it. And it's just that which makes Fry so relatable.

Futurama also has supurbly written episodes. "Godfellas" or "Love and Rocket" are good examples. Sure, everyone always says "Jurassic Bark", but I think that one kinda just makes people sad, so it's given the allusion of a good episode. I really like that one, but there are better. Good writing, or a good episode, has a lot to do with the way it comes to its point. Linear episodes can be just as good as mindfuck ones. Compare "300 Big Boys" to "The Sting" for example. They come to a conclusion in completely different ways.

Stephen King's Bag of Bones

Read this book. Just do it. Call me self centered but I've never had a character feel more like me ever before. It's kind of scary, in it's way. Every time he said something or made a decision it was exactlyy the way I would have done it. Okay, maybe not exactly but pretty damn close. It's a long book, too, so you'll be carrying it around for some time if you're a slow reader like me.

Anyways, there's a little bit about me. I considered putting WoW in there but I don't think that I would know where to start or where it would eventually end. Best to just leave out the obvious, right? Like how depressed I am.

That's obvious, right?

captain's log; RE: hangover, old friends, slipknot.

2009-10-11T18:49:00.000-07:00

dearest sim0x. i miss you buddy, but i'm glad that you made some good progress on your mounds of homework. sometimes, (or most of the time,) keeping up with a class that you're paying thousands of dollars for can be the better option over hanging out with your favourite asian.

last night, my brother's pop-punk band played a gig at the local club (?) at the heart of downtown nanaimo. due to my brother and his bandmates (which in turn, includes their friends,) being underage, i had to get together a group of my friends who wanted to come watch. they played very well, and to be honest, at that point seeing my brother on stage rockin' out, i have never been more proud of my kid bro.

carrying on, the group of friends that ended up getting together for this show turned out to be a group of friends that i had not seen (or had talked to,) in months and months. no need to say that i was having a great time. beer was being brought to us by pitchers, and who am i to turn down free booze? but of course, me being the driver, i had to take it easy while we were out and about. when my brother's band was finished, i dropped him off at home (after an entire car ride of praise,) and headed back out to the venue to reunite with my friends. we stayed for the other two bands of the night, and it was much enjoyable (though i'm not much on this whole scene.)

after all the bands were finished, we all decided to go to my friend matty's place to get more drunk. we arrived around twoAM, and thus began our unforgettable, yet so forgettable, night. to be completely honest, i can't remember what happened after around threeAM. this morning (... moar like afternoon..) i found out that we had drank til about fiveAM. jesus christ. it is no surprise that i woke up with a terrible headache and a stomachache. i don't usually drink.. in fact, i drink maybe once or twice in the year. it was a stupid idea. i sit here right now, waiting for my awesome thanksgiving dinner, clenching my stomach so i don't throw up. i do not enjoy this.

today, i had a blast from the past when i was going through my library of music and found Slipknot. there was once a time, back around.. grade eight and nine i guess, when Slipknot was my favourite band. i can't remember what drew me to them, maybe it was the fact that they were a nine piece band that somehow functions better than a four piece band.. or maybe it was the fact that they drew my attention with their stellar live performances.. hmm.

the past couple days have been very very nostalgic.

this is also a random blog post that kinda sucks.

-rhee.

all hope is gone.

On Being a Hermit...

2009-10-11T18:00:00.001-07:00

*Looks around* You know what's weird? I haven't said anything to anyone today. No sounds have come out of my mouth, even to myself. And I talk to myself a lot. Okay, except for this "urhhh!" after a sneezing session that happened when I came home from getting groceries. It was there where I first noticed I hadn't said anything to anyone after I successfully completed a transaction without using any words. I don't read other people's blogs, except for Rhee's, so I don't know what people want to hear in them. But based on the core idea of a blog, I would imagine that the most appreciated information given in blogs is personal information. Not where you live, or what your flat number is (calling is a "flat" is a dead giveaway), just harmless stuff that no one could use against you. Like what I got for groceries, for example. Today I bought these marinated pork chops, which sounds normal, but I never buy meat. I don't even really know how to cook it. I try to shake the idea, but somehow I have this assumption that if its pink in the middle, it kills you. No exceptions. You eat pink meat, fucking dead. So I just put it on the mini George Foreman Grill and leave it for a bit. I also bought sandwich materials. Cheese, Lettuce, Turkey, all capitalized for your enjoyment. Hmm, what else... cookie dough, pasta, pasta sauce. Are you bored yet? I didn't think so.

  Yeesh, these last couple days... I never saw it coming. I just kept doing homework and I turned into this hermit. I don't even leave my room and I live alone. I keep the door closed, for God's sake. I keep a blanket on my window because I don't like how bright it gets. It always looks like night time in my room. This is how you become depressed, by the way. 

  Watched Star Trek at some point this morning. It was good... *sigh* I liked it. Sorry, I sigh because I watched it alone and there were parts worth talking about. Stuff to do with the script writing. Some lines mirrored others and... it's not importantant. What's important is that I watched it. I never thought I would. 

Anyway, I've rambled myself dry today. Thanks for listening.

A Lengthy Night

2009-10-08T22:58:00.000-07:00

Ah, yet another unproductive day for me. It started off promising. I made headway in my film script and I'm finally not scared of where I have to go. Always an encouraging feeling, when you know where you're headed. The afternoon, too, was promising. Rhee and I created some D&D characters. Of course, the part that interested me most was creating the back story. That's the thing with writers, if it's already created then we just handle it like we would an empty McDonalds bag. And it's in no offence we do this, or I, let me use "I" here, it's in no offence I do this. I just like stories, I guess. Anyways, after Rhee left I just didn't feel like I was doing anything of worth.

That's another thing about writing. It's nothing to look at. It's just words. It's way different when someone paints me a picture, or plays me a song. There's something there for me to see or hear. But with writing, it's just words. If you give someone something to read, they have to take time out of their day to read whatever you gave them. And these days, no one has time for other people.

No box. comic today :( Sorry everyone. I don't blame Rhee for not drawing this one. He's really immersed in this D&D stuff, which is cool. Who knew that reading text books can be fun. Regardless, I must apologize because we do keep saying Thursday and Sunday and this is yet another Thursday we missed. Tomorrow for sure, hopefully... gotta sneak that word in there, haha.

I like this blog. It's open to all the box. fans and I like them. I guess this is as good of time as any to say how relieved I am that no one rejected me as a co-author to Rhee. Means a lot. But anyways, the blog. I suggest to any aspiring writers out there to start their own blog and fill it with articles about things you wanna talk about. You'd be surprised how easy the words come out when you're writing about something that you love.

Enough of the lecture. I just finished a great Naxx raid with the guild. I didn't get anything, and my mace didn't drop, but I still had fun. My back hurts now, though. Before the Naxx raid? I had to drive a poet around town to several readings. How's that for a random fact of the day?

captain's log; RE: sickness, new comic, D&D/WoW.

2009-10-07T11:20:00.000-07:00

oy vey.

it sucks to be at that stage of a sickness where you have almost beaten it, but not quite. i've had a terrible cough/head cold for the past week or so, and while the worst part is over, i fear the long, arduous task of finally overcoming it.

today is wednesday, which makes it the final drafting day for thursday's new comic. sim0x actually wrote up the script early monday (we don't usually write the script until late wednesday, even though we have three days to write.) and it was easy for us to get together later on that day and do up some storyboards. it's a great script and i can't wait for you guys to read it.

next in the pool of things to possibly talk about: though a little late in my life (i had wanted to play for years,) i dove into the magical world of dungeons & dragons. i seriously think about it all day, everyday. maybe it'll give me an excuse to quit WoW for good. as an unemployed individual, it's kinda hard for me to waste $fifteenUSD/month to ultimately gain nothing in my life other than some cheap entertainment. don't get me wrong though, (for those skeptical about WoW) it is a great game; the people you meet, the things you can do, etc. etc. it's all around a great experience.

me personally (<-- keyword,) i'm just sick of sitting on the computer for hours on end, doing damage not to the raid boss, but to my spine. and really, what am i accomplishing by grinding my way to level eighty, or by raiding for hours to get "geared up"? nothing that will significantly make my real-world life any better.

sim0x. don't feel all hurt and defensive when you read this.

i feel like i haven't posted a proper blog in ages. this is nice.

oh ATTN: sim0x. when you post a blog, "label" yourself at the bottom of the form, so it adds to the post count on the right-sidebar. TY.

-rhee.

i complain but... nobody listens.

How I End Up Procrastinating

2009-10-06T15:58:00.000-07:00

It shows what kind of writer I am when I don't even know if I should have capitalized all the words in that title right there. I did it anyway because it was my first instinct. Are those even logical? First instincts?

I procrastinate like no other. Every year I say the same thing before school begins again, "This time I really gotta buckle down." Okay, maybe not that, but something along those lines. And for the first couple days, yeah, it's fine. I take notes, I buy a planner, I go to the library. But it's only a week before I lose that drive to do well. And when I see a project due in a week, I think that I have a week to finish it. Did you know that the teacher actually wants you to work on the project for close to all of the days in between the assignment date and the due date? 

I end up procrastinating because of many things. Sometimes I'd walk by my guitar and play for a half hour. Sometimes I would make something to eat and watch a movie (because you can't eat and do homework at the same time). Most of the time, at least when it comes to writing, it boils down to me sitting there, thinking ahead. I think ahead of where I am in the script/story, about how good this part is going to be, about how fun this part is going to be to write, and I just end up getting bored with what is in the now. Hence, my current situation with my film script. Crossroads suck, let's face it. They suck in WoW and they suck here. I'm at a point in my writing where I could do it this way or that way, and I can never decide. When I eventually do, it will be because it's too late, not because I've thought extensively about it. 

Anyways, I'm in class and break is just about over. In about five minutes, I'll be speaking in front of the class about Niche magazines. Yeah... the ones that are called things like "Pizza Monthly" and "Stay at Home Dad". Life is fun, the little things are fun. I love making grilled cheese sandwiches but I don't think I can fill a magazine about it, let alone find interest in reading one.

I'm hungry.

opening up "behind the box." once more.

2009-10-06T02:28:00.000-07:00

because i thought it would be fun for me and simox. to run a blog together.

Attacking The Middle

2009-10-06T02:05:00.000-07:00

Things like my car, TV, or shoes don't really bother me when they get fun poked at them. I don't care. But when it comes to music, movies, or TV shows, that's when it attacks the middle. By that I mean, attacks you. This is where all the emotions of isolation come into play, when someone attacks the middle. Suddenly I start to feel like no one likes the things I like or the things I do. Like I'm the last guy in the world who thinks The Dandy Warhols are cool because they.... well, because they just ARE. It's the Dandy Fucking Warhols, man. Closed minded people irritate me. I mean, does *anyone* love Futurama as much as I do? Screenwriting? Where are these people? Avoiding me like the plague, apparently.

Then it hits. Like some rock out of the dark, right into the chest. I'm not alone. In fact, it's worse, I'm so far back into the crowd, sectioned off in a group of other 23 year old balding men, trying to wave at a camera 400 yards away. I don't mean to complain, I just really haven't been wanted in a while. The real kind of wanted, the kind when you know there's nothing wrong or off about it. Where it's like, authentic. 

Today I watched the new Family Guy episode. It started off weird and took forever to get to the main story. But there were two parts that made me laugh hysterically. Hysterically. But I had no one to share that with. I had no one to talk about why it was so funny, the underneath funny... you know? I guess I don't even know. 

I logged on WoW today, did some stuff, raided Naxx. I had fun. I don't care that it doesn't mean anything to anyone. It's rare that it's like that, because I never do things for myself.

I have this friend who today told me that it would be best if we didn't talk to each other any more. I think, how did I come to deserve something like that? Why do these little things effect me so much that I can't even make a decision without looking over my shoulder?  Why does it so specifically hurt? 

I made a CD when I was in grade 11 called "Songs that Nobody Likes" and I only listened to it in my car when no one else was in it. I should do that again soon...